THE GUVNA (Clubflat nickname, founded in 1999)
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Real Name: Dazzy J
Position: Clubflat Godfather
The Guvna is someone who commands a lot of respect. He has more stories to tell involving acts of sheer coolness than anyone you will meet. Many of these stories are for private ears only and so cannot be repeated but if you have ever been told one of them, chances are you will have held out your hand to The Guvna whilst solemnly nodding your head in a mark of respect. The Guvna is a top bloke with a lively personality who is always up for a good laugh, which is undoubtedly why he has so many stories to tell. Always upbeat, he has a way with words that simply don't register with most folk. Within seconds he will have you howling with laughter with one of his dirty anecdotes, followed by an infectious laugh that you can't help but join in with. With a down to earth, no-nonsense attitude, it's not surprising that he's liked by pretty much everyone he meets. Well almost everyone. If you're a grade 'A' prick, then expect The Guvna to 'sort ya', regardless of your size. Like the story of a large bruiser at his work who thought he was Mister Big in his 4X4. The Guvna had been parking in his spot for a few weeks whilst this bloke was off work. One day the bloke returned, walks up to The Guvna's desk, leans over in an intimidating fashion and says in a patronising way "Is that ya 'little' car in ma spot. Well ma brakes are a bit dodgy and ma big 4X4 might just roll over ya little car". With that The Guvna retorts "Well ma brakes are dodgy and ma 'little' car might just run over you!". Realising he was messing with The Guvna, the big meathead backed off! The Guvna first earned his name back on a lads holiday in Tenerife in 1999 with Hero and Special K. Back then Tenerife was a rough-hole with someone getting mugged, beaten up or raped pretty much every night, including Special K who got punched for no reason on very first night! Over the rest of the holiday the stories came out about how all the bars were run by Spanish Mafia. But The Guvna wasn't phased. When most people would have wanted to go home there and then, he led the lads out clubbing every night. Fear doesn't affect The Guvna. Not only has The Guvna got a lot of bottle, but he's also got a lot of tongue. A hell of a lot. His tongue is wider than the river Thames and when he gives it a rasp, you can be sure a dirty anecdote is soon to follow. Roll your mouse over his profile pic and see for yourself. The Guvna enjoys a good rave-up when a slamming tune comes on and will coolly work the floor putting out the vibe, occasionally popping out that tongue mid-rave. He has a knack for taking the piss in an inoffensive way that you just have to laugh at, which just adds to his aura of respect and coolness. He's a bloke you want at any party, or any rumble. He is... The Guvna.
The Guvna Says: "You mess wiv ma boys, you mess wiv me, you dirty cum suck".
Claim to Fame: "I looked Steven Seagal in the eye and he looked away".
Thong Guy - On the way to Tenerife it was rumoured that The Guvna had packed a thong to wear. Nickname founded in 1999.