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When we were told S Club 7 were
to be performing on Friday night, the Clubflat Team instantly saved
up all their jizz so they could throw it at the stage towards Rachel
Stevens. But the thought of salivating all over her in the
flesh blinded us to the clues we should have noticed...
1. Why are S Club 7 appearing on the Friday night and not Saturday
which is the main night?
2. Why was Butlins not plastered with posters promoting their
appearance?
3. Isn't Hannah Spearritt one of the main stars of Primeval on BBC1
who surely has more money than the rest and better things to do?
4. Would Rachel Stevens really lower herself to appearing on stage
at Butlins?
5. Wasn't S Club 7 in their prime 10 to 15 years ago, so what state
will they be in now?
Well if we had of used our big heads and not our little purple ones
we would have realised that S Club 7 had turned into Fat Club 2.
The two who clearly hadn't found anything to further their careers
since splitting in 2003, had lived in Burger King since eating away
their sorrows, and who hadn't even practised singing their old hits
very well. Say hello to today's Bradley McIntosh and Joanne
Valda O'Mearas, once sexual icons, now roly poly's who have lost the
fight against the flab. Given they're only 30 and 32 years
old, you would think they would reign it in a bit and get down the
gym. At least then Jo might have been able to move around the
stage without breaking a sweat and not have to rely on Bradley so
much to sing in her place when she needed to pause for breath.
We're not being harsh, the pic's actually don't do their fatness
justice or show you their lacklustre, karaoke style performance.
Bradley was OK-ish, did the odd rap here and there but Jo clearly
looked embarrassed most the time - embarrassed at walking on stage,
embarrassed at her own singing, embarrassed at having let herself go
and turning into a fat chuffer thinking people would want to watch
her. At least their scruffy clothing from the second hand shop
matched their performance. Get a load of... S Club 2. C'mon Jo, sort it out,
you used to be worth a good boning. |
