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We couldn't have struck it any better than coming across the fabulous Rio Club and from here it all got very messy. The moment we walked in there were whoops of delight from the Clubflat Team as we realised we had hit an absolutely storming outdoor open air house club where the tunes were simply thumping and the vibe in the place had your heart pounding. This place ROCKS! Within moments the vodka and oranges were in and Dancing Jock along with Waterboy had jigged their way across the dance floor, clambered up onto a wall and started directing the crowd, podium style. What followed next was the stuff of legend, with Dancing Jock dancing with palm trees and repeatedly falling off the wall, injuring himself and everyone around him in the process. As the night wore on, Johhny Utah's arm bandage had begun to unravel itself and was getting dragged through puddles, stepped on, p*ssed on, the lot. But Utah was oblivious to anything by then and more so, didn't care. By the end of the night he looked very similar to a decomposing Mummy with the bandage dragging around his ankles! Then Quick Buck, Shag and Hero began seeing who could shotgun bottle's of Smirnoff Ice the quickest. After several attempts to beat Hero, Quick Buck and Shag conceded defeat and Hero staggered off mumbling something about getting married and asking why had the good Lord done this to him. Steroid was last seen dancing to himself in a circle and Tragedy Dave was wandering blind through the crowds having overdone the vodka. The partying continued well into the early hours and some were still in Rio when the place shut. The Clubflat Team disparately found their way back to the hotel where yet more drinking ensued, arriving back in dribs and drabs, sometimes in small groups, sometimes alone, sometimes with complete random strangers who'd been good enough to show them the way back. Just when it looked like there was no-one left to come back, who should arrive out the blue but Johnny Utah, complete with a thoroughly dirty bandage and a story about flying elephants who had abducted him and tried to raise him as one of their own. What a night! |
 Dancing Jock and Waterboy show how NOT to dance on a wall |
 Rio was Rooocccckkkkkiiiiiinnnnn!! |
 What on earth can possibly be that funny?... |
 ...Dancing Jock, that's what! |
 Go on baby, swallow her |
 Quick Buck scans for puswani |
 Here's one we groped earlier |
 Clubflat, doing their bit for the environment |
 The Durban Drinkster practices a few karate moves |
 "Come to dadda little school girls" |
 Fitness First promised to show her the Lip-Jug-Minge exercise |
 Johnny Utah's face says it all |
Mentalist Dad's shirt came free with the game Kerplunk |
 Young and cute. Girls were ok too |
 Let the Smirnoff Ice games begin! |
 Quick Buck shats himself with excitement at meeting random Irish blokes |
 Lager-bobbing, much better than apple bobbing |
 Shirt covered in mud, the Dancing Jock keeps going |
 Something sinister was approaching |
 What the fuck? |
 While she's not looking, Dancing Jock practices his next move on his hand |
 Fake flowers, an easy way to a Finnish girls heart |
 Quick Buck has just found out her age |
Taa-daa! Flying stalks had brought Johnny Utah home |
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