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Girls Aloud, sponsored by Clubflat


When Clubflat heard rumours that Girls Aloud were about to split up after their latest and possibly last tour, there was only one thing to do. Dust off the long cream mac and binoculars and head over to the NIA Arena for some boner-inducing action. Yup, the pervometer was off the scale! Rhythm and Hero, along with the original Hero, yes, Hero's Daddy-o, had picked the short straw (ahem), to report on this one for Clubflat. Well what a short straw this was. The place was absolutely heaving with totty, outnumbering men by 3 to 1! Seems men are a little too shy to go to somewhere they would be intimidated by masses of women and possibly be jipped by their mates. Fools, it was heaven! Unsurprisingly, it was a pretty enjoyable show and each of them could actually sing. Not that we were familiar with the songs or anything else for that matter. When we all put our heads together, we actually managed to get 3 out of 5 of their names right! Quality. Male chauvinism at its best.


Put your hands up if you want 'Heroing'

Thank god the ginge wasn't on the screen at the time

Girls Aloud thought they were Steps

You might have to bag her head, but the ginga had

by far the best body of the group!

Hold the god damn phone! They're waving at us!

"Hey Clubflat boys, how are you"

Girls in suits. Now there's power

Pink goddess stops bloke dead in his tracks

Trussed up like sex dungeon fodder

Blonde Sarah wonders where her share of tits are

One up the bum, no harm done

The girls go weak at the knee's as Rhythm pulls some moves off

The conga train needed a bit more rehearsal

Crowd went wild as Clubflat stripped for a finishing duet with the girls