LAZE (Clubflat nickname, founded in 2003)
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Real Name: John W
Position: Clubflat Relaxation Manager.
Profile:
There is no better way to describe Laze other than a man who will dodge any kind of physical exercise. In fact the last time he ran was in 2003 when he was forced to play 5 a side football and limped about for about 30 seconds. If there is any kind of walking involved and there is possibly a way to drive there, then he will. His latest example of sloth-like idleness was when the boys went to his static caravan in Tywyn, Wales and Laze decided to start up the motor and drive 100 metres to the end of the park where he could get a signal on his mobile. It is of no surprise then that when he's out playing golf with Quick Buck, a buggy is ALWAYS hired and almost always destroyed or nearly tipped over before being returned to the Clubhouse! There have been times when that buggy has been seen going sideways down a fairway and even stuck on steps with its wheels spinning! Laze is a man of comical genius though, especially when it comes to women. He certainly knows how to talk to them and has balls of steel when dared to approach them - this is one time he doesn't mind walking! During many drunken escapades while out on the pull, Laze has come out with some classic phrases such as Puswani that are now used widely by Clubflat and friends of Clubflat. Dedicated to the mission of which all men were created to fill, he has even created short songs on his guitar for the boys to sing before going out on the pull (hear them below). His 'Walk and talk' attitude is one to be admired. This boy means business on a night out and is definitely up for the crack...if you know what we mean.
Pre-Night Song : "Tonight"
Post-Night Song : "Why"
Laze says: "Here Puss Puss Puss Puss".
Claim to Fame: "While travelling around Australia, I got back stage passes and met all of the Chilli Peppers on their tour".
Other Aliases:
Goat - Laze's toenails need to be seen to be believed. Squared off like a trip to the barbers, they remarkably resemble that of a goat - Nickname founded in 2000.
Whoop - Derived from his surname, Laze can be heard shouting out to Puswani in Clubs "Can I get a WHOOP WHOOP!?" - Nickname founded in 2004.
Wooman - Laze has been called this since his travelling days in 2002/2003 whereby his email address started with 'woomanstravels' - Nickname founded in 2002.
Snet - After moving house from a respectable area to a not so respectable area ending in ...snet, the urine was slowly extracted by calling him this repeatedly - Nickname founded in 2000.